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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26083567">say it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mexhillmet/pseuds/mexhillmet'>mexhillmet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:21:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26083567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mexhillmet/pseuds/mexhillmet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto keeping himself from crossing the non-existent boundaries of his and Kuroo's friendship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>say it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was these moments, where bokuto could comfortably place his head on Kuroo's shoulder on their ride home, were the happiest and saddest moments of his life.</p><p>Bokuto looked up from their intertwined fingers to look at Kuroo. He examined his face but what caught his attention was Kuroo's beautiful golden eyes. Those eyes that he loved the most, those eyes that he could look at all day and still be mesmerized by it, those eyes who wouldn't look at him the way he looked at them.</p><p>Bokuto watched as those eyes' attention shifted to him and Kuroo was suddenly staring at him.</p><p>"What? Is there something on my face?" He asked removing one of his earphones and felt his face.</p><p>Bokuto shook his head and reached for Kuroo's free earphone and placed it in his own ear. He heard Kuroo huffed but the man didn't say anything. This is normal for them after all. He closed his eyes while listening to whatever music Kuroo was playing on his phone, which he kind of liked by the way, in an attempt to at least take a nap.</p><p>He was exhausted from practicing volleyball with Kuroo at some wide park with a volleyball net set uped on it. All the exhaustion was worth it though because he get to have Kuroo's attention on him.</p><p>Bokuto just wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep for the next few days but he can't at the moment so he opted for Kuroo's shoulder instead.</p><p>A few minutes had passed and Bokuto still wasn't able to take a nap. He peeked from his eyes and watched the orange, yellow, and red hues displayed across the sky as the sun set.</p><p>The next music played and Bokuto recognizes it and hummed along.</p><p>"You have a nice voice." Kuroo complemented.</p><p>Bokuto hummed approvingly. "You do too."  He replied earning a snort from the other.</p><p>"As if." Kuroo disagreed and looked at Bokuto as best as he could from their position. "Have you heard me sing? Even the sound of nails against the board wouldn't sound as bad after hearing me sing!"</p><p>Bokuto lifted his head and looked at Kuroo their face inches apart. He scowled at him. "Bro, I've heard you sing while you're  taking a shower and it wasn't bad at all." He defended. "If you're really bad, I would've told you otherwise. I kind of love your voice actually."</p><p><em>'I love you.'</em> Bokuto gripped Kuroo's hand tighter.</p><p>Bokuto heard Kuroo sigh as he placed his head back on Kuroo's shoulder. They're friends. Best friends. Bros. He could do this- hold hands, hug, hang out, share a bed, lean his head on Kuroo's shoulder and for Kuroo to do the same all because they're best friends.</p><p>Bokuto watched the sunset from the train's window once again. He felt Kuroo shift and then Bokuto was in a more comfortable position on Kuroo's shoulder.</p><p>Bokuto closed his eyes. "Hey, Kuroo."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Could you please sing for me?"</p><p>Kuroo took a second to reply. "Right now?" He asked.</p><p>Bokuto shook his head a small smile playing on his lips. "When we got home, sing for me." He replied.</p><p>He felt Kuroo rub his hand with his thumb. "Okay. Go take a nap first." Kuroo had said pulling out his phone with his free hand and browsing through it. Bokuto fell asleep as he heard Kuroo hum the tune of the music that they're listening to.</p><p>----</p><p>Bokuto shared an apartment with Kuroo but they have their own rooms. That night though, Bokuto was at Kuroo's room to hear him play guitar and sing.</p><p>Bokuto sat on the right side of the bed while leaning on the bed rest. He watched as Kuroo moved around the room, picking up his guitar and joining Bokuto on the bed. Bokuto then shifted to face Kuroo beside him.</p><p>Kuroo tuned the guitar on his phone and Bokuto watched. When Kuroo was satisfied, he sat more comfortably across Bokuto and adjusted his guitar to play.</p><p>Bokuto had this weird thought of Kuroo looking good with a guitar. Another reason to love Kuroo he guessed.</p><p>Kuroo grinned as he looked at Bokuto. "What do you want me to play?"  He asked Bokuto.</p><p>Bokuto thought about some songs he knew but doesn't actually want to listen to right now. He thought a bit harder and realized he doesn't know what he wanted to hear.</p><p>Bokuto sighed heavily and slumped. "I can't think of anything." He replied after five minutes.</p><p>Kuroo laughed and Bokuto smiled.<em> 'I love your laugh. I love you.'</em> The thought made Bokuto frown. He's not allowed to say that or else Kuroo would drift away from him. He doesn't want that happening.</p><p>Bokuto watched as Kuroo took his phone from where he left it and scrolled through it with a smile.</p><p>"I could just pick for you. I wanted you to hear this song actually." Kuroo announced. "I fell in love with it the first time I heard it."</p><p><em>'I hope you fall in love with me too.'</em> That thought is stupid. He would've laughed at it if it wasn't for the heavy feeling that settled on his chest.</p><p>"Oh. Okay sure." Bokuto replied.</p><p>Kuroo played the guitar while singing along. He sounds so good Bokuto was tempted to kiss him-- <em>'No.' </em>Bokuto froze and stared blankly at the guitar, Kuroo's beautiful voice drowning in the background.</p><p><em>'No.' </em>Bokuto thought once again. He can't do that. He had to keep himself from crossing the red line. He'd been stepping at it for the past few years putting him in this situation. He would lose Kuroo if he did.</p><p>Bokuto stared at Kuroo's contented expression while playing his guitar. Kuroo's eyes were focused on the chords as his fingers shifted. Those eyes were too busy to look at him but Bokuto knew Kuroo recognizes his presence in the room.</p><p>Bokuto thought Kuroo looked calm, relaxed and his voice was soothing. The song was about protecting someone from the world and Bokuto found it funny because what he needed was protection from himself and his self destructive decisions.</p><p>It hurts. Being able to be this close to Kuroo but not close enough to be called his. He knew he'll just get hurt if he played this game but Bokuto wanted to at least have some kind of relationship with Kuroo even if its just in his head.</p><p>Bokuto heard Kuroo's guitar made a hitched tone and Kuroo completely stopped playing.</p><p>Kuroo looked at him with worry visible in his eyes.</p><p>"Are you okay, Bo?" He asked. "You're crying!"</p><p>Bokuto shook his head. "I'm okay, seriously." He said. "It's just- the song-"</p><p><em>'It feels like you're singing it for me.'</em> Bokuto started sobbing and Kuroo was at loss. Bokuto just cried and cried his feelings suddenly too overwhelming for him to handle.</p><p>Kuroo placed his guitar down on the floor and opened his arms.</p><p>"C'mere." He said and Bokuto looked at him, confused.</p><p>The truth is that Kuroo's hugs aren't really comforting right now since its one of the reasons why he's hurting right now.</p><p>Kuroo rolled his eyes at the crying owl. "Come on. You know what I'm trying to give you." He said.</p><p>Bokuto then lounged himself at Kuroo's arms. He hugged Kuroo tightly while crying. It hurts so much. Being able to be held like this, being able to be kissed at the top of his head, being able to be comforted like this and yet everything doesn't mean a single thing other than <em>friends</em><em>.</em></p><p>Bokuto was angry. Though he doesn't know where to address his anger at. He gripped Kuroo's shirt as the said man comforted him. A few moments later, Bokuto was hiccuping on Kuroo's dampen shirt.</p><p>He feels so bad for Kuroo's shirt but the fact that Kuroo doesn't mind, the fact that Kuroo was hugging him close to his chest, the fact that Kuroo is running his fingers through Bokuto's hair, Bokuto wasn't able to stop himself from being selfish as he hugged Kuroo back.</p><p>"Hey, Kuroo." Bokuto mumbled on the other's chest.</p><p>Kuroo didn't stop what he was doing and hummed questioningly.</p><p><em>'I love you.' </em>Bokuto bit his lip. "Thank you." He whispered.</p><p>"No problem. Do you wanna talk about it?"</p><p>"Not now. 'Not yet ready." Bokuto replied.</p><p>Kuroo kissed the top of Bokuto's head. "Okay." He said. "Do you want to go back to your room?"</p><p>Bokuto shook his head. "'Wanna stay here." He replied and Kuroo agreed.</p><p>He went to lock the doors first and then went to close the lights, and finally, going back to Bokuto.</p><p>Bokuto had cried himself to sleep. Willing himself to be as quiet as possible. Kuroo's sleeping face was the last thing he saw before he succumbed into sleep.</p>
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